I've been setting up for this since Saturday morning when I received a FedEx package containing the update disk for the XBox 360.  You know you're arrived as a game reviewer when you get a FedEx package at 10am on a Saturday, I suppose, but I was woefully ill-prepared for this pre-arranged multiplayer extravaganza.  I (what with not owning one and all) am an absolute XBox 360 neophyte, and I had no idea how to get the loaner console prepped for the online racing.  Chuck and John pitched in and got me configured, so this afternoon I was ready to go.  I've spent the last couple of days ensuring that the XBox would connect to my wireless router when I needed it to, and I've practiced racing in single player quite a bit.

So, this will come as no surprise: this afternoon when I went to connect in multiplayer, I couldn't.  A reboot or two later and all of that was cleared up and I was in.  As far as the racing goes, all I can say this is that this was a lot of work just to get pwned.  And I mean "dead last in every race" pwned.  I got good starts in most of the races, but got caught in first turn pile-ups a couple of times, and had an unfortunately timed phone call mid-way through another race.  Oh, and remember how when you used to study for a quiz in school and you'd skip a subject because you don't like it, and sure enough it would be on the quiz?  Well, that's me and Endurocross.  Endurocross is a sadists dream; the tracks are almost universally covered with boulders, logs, jumps made out of huge tires, and mud.  The average race speed on one of these tracks is like 2 mph.  I've seen Columbus drivers go faster in the snow than that (but not often).  I didn't practice it because, well, I'm not a sadist.  Needless to say, I didn't do very well in that race.

Even though I came in last (or nearly last) in all the races (and really, I gotta think the game developers were more motivated to win since they were playing for their very jobs; can you imagine what it would be like for one of those guys to lose to a mere reviewer??), I figure I'm in the running for some of the non-traditional awards:

• Furthest distance flown before digging a face-divot
• biggest face-divot
• most distance raced going the wrong way
• longest distance raced without being able to see a single competitor in front of me
• most times crossing the track separator into oncoming traffic
• most times knocking over another rider